The Guilt Trip

There are a lot of new feelings that I am learning to deal with now that I am a mom, but guilt is the most frequent and most annoying of them all. I am not used to feeling guilty for things I do, but now that I am totally responsible for another life I am constantly questioning if what I'm doing has the remote chance of screwing his life for ever. 

Everything that happens to this little person in your life is on you. From his belly button healing properly, to the nappy rash, or to even getting a cold, you will feel guilty about it. 

The worst part about this feeling is the fact that you cannot win...

If you use the dummy you feel guilty because you might be encouraging a lifetime of visits to the dentist, and if you don't you feel guilty because he cries, or because he needs to be latched on to you all the time. 

If he falls asleep on you, then you are encouraging a bad habit and getting him used to not sleeping by himself on his bed, but if you leave him to sleep by himself you worry he might not feel protected or loved.  

You might feel guilty for bottle feeding him (I know I did); you feel guilty for using the dummy (you can read why here); or you feel guilty because you are not using reusable nappies (you know who you are)... If you co-sleep, if you feed on demand, if you have a strict routine... EVERYTHING! 

Read Next: The Truth About Breastfeeding

To top it all off, the fact that everybody likes to contribute to how you do things. Why do total strangers (on the street) think it's ok to stop you and tell you that the baby should be wearing gloves because it's cold? In fairness to the lady it was middle of winter on a windy day, and the three layers of clothes plus the coat plus the two hats and boots weren't warming enough... Might be these things only happen to me...

What I realized though, is that his life has only just started, so this is only the beginning, which means that I have a life time to enjoy this guilt trip. What I will do then is learn from it and improve for the next baby... Or become that lady on the street, so watch out people.  

7 Must-Have Apps For New Moms

As a new mom I suddenly found myself overloaded with things to do and no time to do anything... You have no idea how demanding this 8 pounds size human can be! Here are my top apps that are making my life easier and hope they will help me through the first year:

1. Meal Planner Pal (free)


Awesome app to organized the meals for the week so the husband knows exactly what to cook each day! 

2. Relax Melodies (free)

It has white noise to help the baby sleep (including the vacuum cleaner!), and all sort of other melodies. The best part is that you can mix two or more sounds to create your own relaxing melody. 

3. The wonder weeks (paid)

I love this app! It gives you personalized information about your baby's development that not only explain the periods of fuzziness of your baby but also how to help him achieve the new skills for his age. 

4. WebMD Baby (free)

I have spent so much time on this app! Thanks to it I have only called the doctor twice a week instead of, well, constantly! 

5. Baby Tracker (free)

Believe me when I tell you that you will get obsessed with poop, sleep and eat. So you better keep track with this app. 

6. Shopping apps (free)

It is not all about the baby, you can't forget about yourself! Here you have loads to choose from, my favorites are Asos, H&M and Topshop.

7. Kick ass games (various)

When you are done online shopping why don't you just kill some time at 2am by playing a game? The crowd's favorites are Candy Crush (of course!), Hay Day and Fruit Ninja. 

Is there any other app that has make your life easier after your baby was born? I would love to know!

4 signs your baby is teething

Teething is an unsettling time for a baby and for a parent, so it is completely understandable for you to have spent the last three days researching in Dr Google exactly the symptoms and how to help your baby through this time. 

It is reassuring to know that it could happen at around 6 months... hold on, it could happen from birth... oh no no, from 18 weeks... well, clearly nobody really knows exactly, so I just hope the below can put your mind at ease!

1. Dribbling and drooling

If you have to use several bibs in one day or change his clothes because they are wet then that is a definite sign he is teething... Or it could be that he is just a baby and that you actually have the type that drools as much as a Great Dane!

2. Hands in his mouth 

If your baby constantly has his fingers, hands or fist in his mouth then he is definitely teething. Even more so if he has both fists in his mouth, which is pretty impressive so please take a picture and share it! ... Or it could be that he is just a baby and is discovering his mouth. 

Read: The Odyssey of His First Night Alone

3. Flushed cheeks 

This is a sure sign your baby is teething because of the pressure of the teeth trying to break through the gum are making his cheeks flush... Or maybe you just need to turn the heating down or give those oh-so-kissable cheeks a rest.

4. He is really cranky and cries all the time 

If your baby is really unsettle and cries more than usual then he is most likely teething... Or he might be just hungry, or needs a nappy change, or is going through a growth spurt, or he might just need you to get your head out of Dr. Google and pay him some attention! 

So if your baby presents any of the above he must be teething, but just in case let's call the Dr. for a third time this week just to be completely sure. At the end of the day, it's our right as first time moms!

If you want real information why don't you try the NHS website, or BabyCentre. 

The truth about breastfeeding (well, my truth :-))

It is simple - it is not for everybody and that is OK!

"It hurts at first; just for the first couple of weeks" they say. That doesn't sound so bad, does it? Well, think again! During the first weeks you are breastfeeding at least 12 times a day... For 14 days... 

But it doesn't stop there, oh no! On top of that, if you are not careful, chances are you will get a cracked nipple. Again, let me tell you, when you have that little bundle of joy wrongly latched to a cracked nipple 12 times a day, you are in for a world of pain. 

What is that? What if you had a c-section you said? Well, you will think you are something out of the circus trying to juggle your baby to get him away from the scar but still on to your cracked boob. 

So you say to yourself, "I just went through 36hs of labour, I won't give up now." And so you push through the first weeks of pain, the cracked nipple horror, the c-section, the cocktail of hormones leaving your body, the lack of sleep...and you think there is light at the end of the tunnel... 

But hold on, what is that? Mastitis? Oh yes! It comes so quickly that you don't know what hits you. By the time you realize what it is you are shaking in bed with a fever. The solution? Breastfeeding through the pain of mastitis is the best chance you have for recovery (and also get antibiotics from Dr.).

Read: 4 Signs Your Baby Is Teething

If you are still breastfeeding after all these I applaud you! I see my friends who are still breastfeeding and I am very proud of them because it is much harder than they make you think. Me on the other hand, I felt like breastfeeding was the most twisted form of torture...

As I said, breastfeeding is not for everyone. So if you make the decision not to do it, it is ok. We all want what is best for our babies, and at this point what my baby (and my family) really needed was having me at the top of my game to take care of the new arrival. 

Despite all the looks I get when I get a bottle out at a restaurant I chose not to feel guilty about it. There is plenty of other things in my baby's life I am sure I will feel guilty about, not this. 

5 people who will test your parenting skills

Being a first time mom is hard. You are suddenly responsible for this tiny human being that is so incredible demanding, and let's be honest, you have no idea what you are doing. 

I find myself doubting about every single thing I do. "Is this the best brand of nappies?" "Is this the best washing tablet for your delicate skin?" "Why are you still crying?!?! I've fed you, changed you, fed you again. Is it your ear? Or your throat? Or a rare condition that I might not be aware of?!?! Let's call the doctors for the third time this week". 

It is hard work, especially when you feel you are playing it by ear every day. So imagine on top of that having people second guess you?! 

1. Your own mom

My mom is a pretty good starting point as a role model goes. And in all honesty, I think she has done a pretty good job! So it is hard not to doubt yourself when she second guesses you. 

I personally have to deal with questions like "isn't the baby sleeping too much?", "which doctor recommended the formula powder you are using?", or my favourite "his cheeks are pink, are you sure he doesn't have a fever?!?!" (to give you some context, this was through Skype). This last one sends me into panic mode and even though I know for a fact he doesn't have a fever I still get the thermometer out and check him at least three times to be sure. 

2. Your mother in law

It is point 1 all over again, but the difference is you cannot tell her to back off. 

3. Friends with no kids 

I have to admit, I used to be one of those. Having to be louder than the kids running around you in order to have a conversation, or having to arrange a get together way to far in advance so they can arrange for babysitters, used to put me in the worst mood. "How do they let it get so bad?" I used to think. "When I have kids I will still have time for uninterrupted conversations" I used to tell myself.

I now know what it feels like to be on the other side, and it's not remotely as easy as you thought it would be when you didn't have them. 

4. People at a restaurant, at the shops, on the street (you name it)

Have you ever had the need to explain to complete strangers why your baby won't stop crying?

Those moments when you need a break from the routine and the cream coloured walls of your living room. You decide it is safe to go for walk into town and have a coffee. And then, as soon as you sit down, all hell breaks free and there is nothing you can do to calm your baby down. 

It is so hard trying to avoid all the disapproving looks from everybody at the coffee shop. Even the ones that smile at you because they want to be nice! You know deep inside that they are thinking you are a terrible mom! 

5. Your own baby

Nobody, and I mean, nobody, will put your skills to the test more than your own kid. They are born with special powers to push your sanity to the limit, and it doesn't matter if they are a baby, a toddler or a teenager, they will have no mercy when they use this power.  

It is impossible not to feel like you are been judged all the time. Therefore I have a mantra that I repeat to myself every day (sometimes twice a day if it has been one of THOSE days): "he is still alive so you must be doing something right, you are clearly awesome".

Perhaps there are people that make you doubt how good a parent you are? I would love to know so put it in a comment below. 

7 Positives Of Having A Baby

Despite of having a cynical view about motherhood, I decided to start the blog on a positive note – and I actually found seven!

1. You can spend the day on your pyjamas

2. Having a glass of wine every day of the week is mandatory to survive

3. You don’t need a dietitian – the baby keeps you so busy that you barely have time to eat

4. He is the best contraceptive – after a 36hs labour, don’t even think about it! EVER!

5. Out of the blue you have the most amazing cleavage

6. Because of the new amazing rack, you have a perfect excuse to go shopping and renew your wardrobe

7. He is the best listener and knows exactly what to say – you can complain to him about how hard all this is and he will reply with the most beautiful toothless smiles

Read: 4 hospital bag must haves