Monday, May 18, 2015

6 Terrible Feelings You Need To Learn To Live With

If you thought that the end of pregnancy was all about giving birth to that lovely little cherub and start enjoying life with him, you are completely misguided. The aftermath of birth will leave you spinning like a revolving door. 

The emotional imbalance you have to deal with after giving birth is so much more severe than what you have ever imagined. No wonder the after birth is called the "fourth trimester". 

Here are 6 feelings that I had to quickly learnt to live with and that even though I experienced them before, after a baby they have a whole new meaning:

1. Guilt: This is just simply us being too hard on ourselves. Come on, we are all playing it by ear, but if you ever think that you are not doing it right (which is constant!) we feel this way. I've never felt guilty about the things I said or did before having a baby, but now I am feeling it all the time. I even wrote a specific article about guilt, you can read it here

2. Resentment: I didn't know much about this one until I found myself at the end of the bed a 3am (after what it seemed to be an eternity of sleepless nights) hearing my husband snore away and the tiny human trying to suck my soul through my nipple. Suddenly an urge to punch my husband in the face overtook me. I came back to my senses before I did anything of course, but I resented him. Mainly because he also has boobs but his are not cut out for the job! why doesn't his boobs work?!?!?!  

3. Ignorance: Whoever said 'Ignorance is bliss' clearly didn't have a baby. I really don't like feeling like I'm constantly playing it by ear. There are schools and universities for everything, why can't there be one for parenthood? The "university of life" doesn't count! Everybody wants to be the best parent they can be, and do the best for this new life, but let's be honest, we are totally clueless. They key is not letting your kids know about it or your hardly earned credibility goes down the drain.  

4. Fear: I am in a constant state of fear. Fear that something could happen to him, fear that I could lose him, fear that he could get hurt. When I walk down stairs with him in the morning I hold on tighter than ever to the hand rail, when I put him on the car sit I tight the straps as tighter as I can. Even when I'm asleep I wake up just to check on him to make sure he's still breathing... 

5. Sadness beyond believe: Are you kidding me?! Trying to unsuccessfully deal with all the previously mentioned feelings will push you over the edge and will make you cry for nothing, or everything, ALL THE TIME. It is all sooooo incredibly overwhelming that I honestly felt totally bipolar. Here is when the 'eat everything you want because you are breastfeeding' stage kicks in, and you are allowed to have a tub of ice-cream a day if you feel like it... I sure I did!  

6. Love you've never experience before: Here is the joke - the love you will feel is much stronger than all the other feelings combine together. When you see him sleeping, when your cuddles are the only thing that will stop him crying, when he sees you across the room and gives you the biggest smile because he knows... he knows you are 'ma-ma', the one and only. I guess you feel ignorant, or fear, or sad just because you love him SO much; you cannot have one without the others. 

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