Dummy: Love or Hate?

I find myself in a love-hate relationship at the moment with the dummy. It makes my life easier in some desperate moments, but equally terribly miserable some other times. Let me explain to you why...

It all started a couple of weeks after he was born, in one of those nights when there was nothing I could do to stop him crying. 

Even before I had him I knew I wasn't going to be one of those moms, you know, the ones that use the dummy as a cork to quiet my boy. I would totally understand what he needed and calmly work things out with him. No way; no child of mine would ever use it, ever I say! How deluded was I?! 

So on that particular night I found it, hidden away between the toys on the shelf, the dummy I got as a present and I promised never to use. 

I was desperate, I would have even accepted an exorcism if it meant it would make him stop crying. So I crumbled and gave it to him, and it was love at first sight! Suddenly the room was quiet, and I could here the snoring of my husband (over the ringing of my ears). And so it began... 

Sometimes I gave it to him to make him fall asleep, sometimes he would spit it out and I knew he was hungry. It was my safety blanket when out and about because I knew if things got out of control I would stop all the looks from other customers at the coffee shop with it. The dummy made everything better. It was magic... It was love! 

But then, without me even realising it, it got out of control! I would use it every time all the time, and my baby would ask for it all the time too! I couldn't, for the love of me, make him go to sleep without it.

And then it started... The hate. 

He would wake up at night crying for it. He wasn't hungry or needing a nappy change, he just didn't know how to go back to sleep without it. I would give it to him, he would then go back to sleep and I would go back to bed only to hear it falling from his mouth and knowing I would have to get up again, and again... And again...

I used to play with the idea that I had mental powers. That if I thought about it strong enough the dummy would stay in his mouth for another 20 minutes but it would never work. 

Now here I am, at 4am in bed after I have given him the dummy, knowing that I will have to go to his room soon because I have heard it fall; hoping that he will grow out of it so don't have to go through the "letting him cry himself to sleep" tactic... 

So let me ask you, is it Love or is it Hate?

4 hospital bag must haves

Packing my hospital bag felt like I was packing for a holiday abroad. It was exciting and nerve wracking. The prospect of this new baby you have been waiting for so long and the fear that overcomes you when you put that tiny nappy on the bag knowing that you have never changed one before (don't worry, you will be sick and tired of nappies soon). 

I had my bag ready three months before the due date, but I think I must have unpack it and re-pack it every week. And still, when I was in hospital I realized there were some things that I needed. Nobody tells you about these things, so here they are...

1. Baby nail clipper

As you probably know babies are born with hair and finger nails. What you don't realize is that those tiny fingernails are like razor blades; 10 tiny very sharp razor blades. 

So pack the clippers and take advantage of how much they sleep on the first few days. Your boobs and probably the rest of your body will thank you for it. 

2. Nappy rash cream

The advice says with water and cotton you are good, but the baby's delicate skin is constantly exposed to pee and poops. Seriously, for being something so tiny the volume of poop that comes out of them is ridiculous. The last thing you want is also having to deal with nappy rash, so don't forget the cream.

3. Bottles

You really don't know how baby feeding is going to go. You might be ok with breastfeeding from day one, or you might struggle. In case of the latter it is better to be prepared, and have a couple of bottles of your choosing sterilised in your bag. At the end of the day the baby needs feeding, and in case breastfeeding doesn't as expected it's better to use your own bottles rather than hospital ones.  

4. The mother of all treats 

Is there a chocolate bar or packet of biscuits that you have always wanted but never bought because you thought the price was a bit too much? Well, this is your chance to get that treat and put it in your bag. At the end of the day, you just push a watermelon size baby out, you deserve it and there is no better time to indulge/celebrate with it. 

The oddysey of his first night alone

You, like me, have probably been told that once the baby has moved to his own room everybody sleeps much better. Well, the baby is surely sleeping better. Me, on the other hand, well... Keep reading... 

10pm 

Feed him, burp him and try desperately to make him understand it is sleep time, not play time. 

11pm

Finally, with the baby asleep, I get ready to do the same. Just before bed I check on the baby (still asleep), and check the baby monitor to make sure it's working. 

12am

Tucked up in bed and after reading a few pages of my book I am ready to sleep. Check on the monitor one more time, and make sure the volume is sky high. 

1am

Monitor goes off but no sound is coming from it. I stare at it for what it seems to be an eternity and eventually a noise... A fart that made the house tremble because of how high the monitor's volume was. Clearly the baby is not that bother about it so after changing the volume to a more suitable setting I go back to sleep. 

Hold on a minute, what if that fart came out with something else? Surely, I cannot leave the baby with a dirty nappy all night, or can I? I force myself out of bed to check on the baby. Nothing came out so I go back to bed. 

2am

The monitor hasn't gone off for an hour?! Might be I screwed up the volume before! What if the baby was crying and I didn't hear it?! I might have emotionally damaged my kid for life! Quickly get out of bed to check on him. Incredibly, he is still sleeping like a log. 

3am

Monitor goes off with a very strange beeping. Oh no, the temperature of the room has dropped to 19 degrees and the monitor is letting us know. In fact, it's letting the whole neighborhood know. Quickly, get out of bed to check on the baby. He is not bother at all about the temperature, in fact, he seems pretty content. 

Anyhow, I turn the heating on so the damn monitor stops beeping.

Read: 5 people who will test your parenting skills

4am

Monitor goes off and this time is for real, the baby is crying. Quickly rush into his bedroom, only to find out that he is just dreaming, the crying is actually a very creepy laugh and he is still sleeping like a log. 

But hang on... something smells... Baby has a dirty nappy, so since I am up let's change him. There is no way I can do this without waking him up, so after changing him I spend a ridiculous amount of time making him understand it is still not play time. 

5am

Back in bed and ready to catch up on my sleep. 

6am

Monitor goes off, again, to let us know the temperature in the room is now to high. Of course, I forgot to turn the heating off. At this point I have no energy to get out of bed, so I kick husband out of bed instead.  

7am

Monitor goes off one last time, baby is crying. Husband shows at the door apologizing, because on his way out to work stopped by baby's room to check up on him and woke him up.  He couldn't explain how, and I didn't really care. Only thing that matters is that we have survived the first night of the baby sleeping in his own room... Or that is what he thinks. Me, on the other hand, wish I was the one going to work! 

Note to self: ask husband to oil the baby's room door. From all the checking up at night it is now creaking...