To Sleep or Not To Sleep

What is it about sleeping that we cannot stop talking about it? Or is it just me?! It is the main topic of any conversation, even when you don't even know the mom/dad: "You have a lovely baby, how does she sleep?". You just want to know if they are as sleep deprived as you are, and if they are not, you desperately want to know why? how? when? how?!? what? HOW?!?! . 

So it begins, the search for that mysterious recipe or knowledge that will bring back the full night of sleep (or at least more than three straight hours) that you desperately need... The Holy Grail of Sleep. 

I talked to everybody and tried everything they suggested, but for me it only got better when I learnt to roll with it. As soon as I stop fighting him and the fact that he didn't sleep more than two hours at a time, and fighting the fact that I had to be awake at night, then it got easy. 

Here is the list of all the things I tried to get him to sleep... with very little or no success whatsoever... 

1. Warm room: it got too warm so he couldn't sleep

2. Cool room: it got too cold so he woke up

3. Less naps during the day: almost impossible and super grumpy baby

4. Eat as much as possible during the day: only help him to put on weight, loads!

5. Bath him before bedtime

6. Massage him before bed

7. Wearing a plain sleeping suit: apparently one with prints got him too excited to sleep

8. Put a warm water bottle in his bed to warm his spot up before laying him down

9. Have the mattress on an incline

10. With the hair dryer on

11. With the vacuum cleaner on (all night long!)

12. With the white noise app on (he preferred the real sound from the vacuum cleaner)

13. In the car seat while driving him around the neighborhood 

14. In the car seat in the bedroom

15. Swaddle: he spent more time awake trying to break free than actually sleeping

16. With a sleeping bag

17. On the baby sling

18. With my hand on his chest: which meant I slept on the floor

19. In bed with us: I was too worried about rolling over so this didn't work

20. With the dummy: he spit it out and cried for it more times that I can count

21. Trying to reason with him: we are not fluent on "baby language" so it didn't work

22. Pray: all the Gods from all religions were off duty that day

23. With my mom, in the spare bedroom: Best. thing. ever. She didn't mind being awake in the middle of the night, and it gave us 3 solid hours of sleep 

Have you tried any other way to get your baby to sleep longer?

Dummy: Love or Hate?

I find myself in a love-hate relationship at the moment with the dummy. It makes my life easier in some desperate moments, but equally terribly miserable some other times. Let me explain to you why...

It all started a couple of weeks after he was born, in one of those nights when there was nothing I could do to stop him crying. 

Even before I had him I knew I wasn't going to be one of those moms, you know, the ones that use the dummy as a cork to quiet my boy. I would totally understand what he needed and calmly work things out with him. No way; no child of mine would ever use it, ever I say! How deluded was I?! 

So on that particular night I found it, hidden away between the toys on the shelf, the dummy I got as a present and I promised never to use. 

I was desperate, I would have even accepted an exorcism if it meant it would make him stop crying. So I crumbled and gave it to him, and it was love at first sight! Suddenly the room was quiet, and I could here the snoring of my husband (over the ringing of my ears). And so it began... 

Sometimes I gave it to him to make him fall asleep, sometimes he would spit it out and I knew he was hungry. It was my safety blanket when out and about because I knew if things got out of control I would stop all the looks from other customers at the coffee shop with it. The dummy made everything better. It was magic... It was love! 

But then, without me even realising it, it got out of control! I would use it every time all the time, and my baby would ask for it all the time too! I couldn't, for the love of me, make him go to sleep without it.

And then it started... The hate. 

He would wake up at night crying for it. He wasn't hungry or needing a nappy change, he just didn't know how to go back to sleep without it. I would give it to him, he would then go back to sleep and I would go back to bed only to hear it falling from his mouth and knowing I would have to get up again, and again... And again...

I used to play with the idea that I had mental powers. That if I thought about it strong enough the dummy would stay in his mouth for another 20 minutes but it would never work. 

Now here I am, at 4am in bed after I have given him the dummy, knowing that I will have to go to his room soon because I have heard it fall; hoping that he will grow out of it so don't have to go through the "letting him cry himself to sleep" tactic... 

So let me ask you, is it Love or is it Hate?

7 Must-Have Apps For New Moms

As a new mom I suddenly found myself overloaded with things to do and no time to do anything... You have no idea how demanding this 8 pounds size human can be! Here are my top apps that are making my life easier and hope they will help me through the first year:

1. Meal Planner Pal (free)


Awesome app to organized the meals for the week so the husband knows exactly what to cook each day! 

2. Relax Melodies (free)

It has white noise to help the baby sleep (including the vacuum cleaner!), and all sort of other melodies. The best part is that you can mix two or more sounds to create your own relaxing melody. 

3. The wonder weeks (paid)

I love this app! It gives you personalized information about your baby's development that not only explain the periods of fuzziness of your baby but also how to help him achieve the new skills for his age. 

4. WebMD Baby (free)

I have spent so much time on this app! Thanks to it I have only called the doctor twice a week instead of, well, constantly! 

5. Baby Tracker (free)

Believe me when I tell you that you will get obsessed with poop, sleep and eat. So you better keep track with this app. 

6. Shopping apps (free)

It is not all about the baby, you can't forget about yourself! Here you have loads to choose from, my favorites are Asos, H&M and Topshop.

7. Kick ass games (various)

When you are done online shopping why don't you just kill some time at 2am by playing a game? The crowd's favorites are Candy Crush (of course!), Hay Day and Fruit Ninja. 

Is there any other app that has make your life easier after your baby was born? I would love to know!

4 signs your baby is teething

Teething is an unsettling time for a baby and for a parent, so it is completely understandable for you to have spent the last three days researching in Dr Google exactly the symptoms and how to help your baby through this time. 

It is reassuring to know that it could happen at around 6 months... hold on, it could happen from birth... oh no no, from 18 weeks... well, clearly nobody really knows exactly, so I just hope the below can put your mind at ease!

1. Dribbling and drooling

If you have to use several bibs in one day or change his clothes because they are wet then that is a definite sign he is teething... Or it could be that he is just a baby and that you actually have the type that drools as much as a Great Dane!

2. Hands in his mouth 

If your baby constantly has his fingers, hands or fist in his mouth then he is definitely teething. Even more so if he has both fists in his mouth, which is pretty impressive so please take a picture and share it! ... Or it could be that he is just a baby and is discovering his mouth. 

Read: The Odyssey of His First Night Alone

3. Flushed cheeks 

This is a sure sign your baby is teething because of the pressure of the teeth trying to break through the gum are making his cheeks flush... Or maybe you just need to turn the heating down or give those oh-so-kissable cheeks a rest.

4. He is really cranky and cries all the time 

If your baby is really unsettle and cries more than usual then he is most likely teething... Or he might be just hungry, or needs a nappy change, or is going through a growth spurt, or he might just need you to get your head out of Dr. Google and pay him some attention! 

So if your baby presents any of the above he must be teething, but just in case let's call the Dr. for a third time this week just to be completely sure. At the end of the day, it's our right as first time moms!

If you want real information why don't you try the NHS website, or BabyCentre. 

The truth about breastfeeding (well, my truth :-))

It is simple - it is not for everybody and that is OK!

"It hurts at first; just for the first couple of weeks" they say. That doesn't sound so bad, does it? Well, think again! During the first weeks you are breastfeeding at least 12 times a day... For 14 days... 

But it doesn't stop there, oh no! On top of that, if you are not careful, chances are you will get a cracked nipple. Again, let me tell you, when you have that little bundle of joy wrongly latched to a cracked nipple 12 times a day, you are in for a world of pain. 

What is that? What if you had a c-section you said? Well, you will think you are something out of the circus trying to juggle your baby to get him away from the scar but still on to your cracked boob. 

So you say to yourself, "I just went through 36hs of labour, I won't give up now." And so you push through the first weeks of pain, the cracked nipple horror, the c-section, the cocktail of hormones leaving your body, the lack of sleep...and you think there is light at the end of the tunnel... 

But hold on, what is that? Mastitis? Oh yes! It comes so quickly that you don't know what hits you. By the time you realize what it is you are shaking in bed with a fever. The solution? Breastfeeding through the pain of mastitis is the best chance you have for recovery (and also get antibiotics from Dr.).

Read: 4 Signs Your Baby Is Teething

If you are still breastfeeding after all these I applaud you! I see my friends who are still breastfeeding and I am very proud of them because it is much harder than they make you think. Me on the other hand, I felt like breastfeeding was the most twisted form of torture...

As I said, breastfeeding is not for everyone. So if you make the decision not to do it, it is ok. We all want what is best for our babies, and at this point what my baby (and my family) really needed was having me at the top of my game to take care of the new arrival. 

Despite all the looks I get when I get a bottle out at a restaurant I chose not to feel guilty about it. There is plenty of other things in my baby's life I am sure I will feel guilty about, not this. 

4 hospital bag must haves

Packing my hospital bag felt like I was packing for a holiday abroad. It was exciting and nerve wracking. The prospect of this new baby you have been waiting for so long and the fear that overcomes you when you put that tiny nappy on the bag knowing that you have never changed one before (don't worry, you will be sick and tired of nappies soon). 

I had my bag ready three months before the due date, but I think I must have unpack it and re-pack it every week. And still, when I was in hospital I realized there were some things that I needed. Nobody tells you about these things, so here they are...

1. Baby nail clipper

As you probably know babies are born with hair and finger nails. What you don't realize is that those tiny fingernails are like razor blades; 10 tiny very sharp razor blades. 

So pack the clippers and take advantage of how much they sleep on the first few days. Your boobs and probably the rest of your body will thank you for it. 

2. Nappy rash cream

The advice says with water and cotton you are good, but the baby's delicate skin is constantly exposed to pee and poops. Seriously, for being something so tiny the volume of poop that comes out of them is ridiculous. The last thing you want is also having to deal with nappy rash, so don't forget the cream.

3. Bottles

You really don't know how baby feeding is going to go. You might be ok with breastfeeding from day one, or you might struggle. In case of the latter it is better to be prepared, and have a couple of bottles of your choosing sterilised in your bag. At the end of the day the baby needs feeding, and in case breastfeeding doesn't as expected it's better to use your own bottles rather than hospital ones.  

4. The mother of all treats 

Is there a chocolate bar or packet of biscuits that you have always wanted but never bought because you thought the price was a bit too much? Well, this is your chance to get that treat and put it in your bag. At the end of the day, you just push a watermelon size baby out, you deserve it and there is no better time to indulge/celebrate with it. 

5 people who will test your parenting skills

Being a first time mom is hard. You are suddenly responsible for this tiny human being that is so incredible demanding, and let's be honest, you have no idea what you are doing. 

I find myself doubting about every single thing I do. "Is this the best brand of nappies?" "Is this the best washing tablet for your delicate skin?" "Why are you still crying?!?! I've fed you, changed you, fed you again. Is it your ear? Or your throat? Or a rare condition that I might not be aware of?!?! Let's call the doctors for the third time this week". 

It is hard work, especially when you feel you are playing it by ear every day. So imagine on top of that having people second guess you?! 

1. Your own mom

My mom is a pretty good starting point as a role model goes. And in all honesty, I think she has done a pretty good job! So it is hard not to doubt yourself when she second guesses you. 

I personally have to deal with questions like "isn't the baby sleeping too much?", "which doctor recommended the formula powder you are using?", or my favourite "his cheeks are pink, are you sure he doesn't have a fever?!?!" (to give you some context, this was through Skype). This last one sends me into panic mode and even though I know for a fact he doesn't have a fever I still get the thermometer out and check him at least three times to be sure. 

2. Your mother in law

It is point 1 all over again, but the difference is you cannot tell her to back off. 

3. Friends with no kids 

I have to admit, I used to be one of those. Having to be louder than the kids running around you in order to have a conversation, or having to arrange a get together way to far in advance so they can arrange for babysitters, used to put me in the worst mood. "How do they let it get so bad?" I used to think. "When I have kids I will still have time for uninterrupted conversations" I used to tell myself.

I now know what it feels like to be on the other side, and it's not remotely as easy as you thought it would be when you didn't have them. 

4. People at a restaurant, at the shops, on the street (you name it)

Have you ever had the need to explain to complete strangers why your baby won't stop crying?

Those moments when you need a break from the routine and the cream coloured walls of your living room. You decide it is safe to go for walk into town and have a coffee. And then, as soon as you sit down, all hell breaks free and there is nothing you can do to calm your baby down. 

It is so hard trying to avoid all the disapproving looks from everybody at the coffee shop. Even the ones that smile at you because they want to be nice! You know deep inside that they are thinking you are a terrible mom! 

5. Your own baby

Nobody, and I mean, nobody, will put your skills to the test more than your own kid. They are born with special powers to push your sanity to the limit, and it doesn't matter if they are a baby, a toddler or a teenager, they will have no mercy when they use this power.  

It is impossible not to feel like you are been judged all the time. Therefore I have a mantra that I repeat to myself every day (sometimes twice a day if it has been one of THOSE days): "he is still alive so you must be doing something right, you are clearly awesome".

Perhaps there are people that make you doubt how good a parent you are? I would love to know so put it in a comment below. 

The oddysey of his first night alone

You, like me, have probably been told that once the baby has moved to his own room everybody sleeps much better. Well, the baby is surely sleeping better. Me, on the other hand, well... Keep reading... 

10pm 

Feed him, burp him and try desperately to make him understand it is sleep time, not play time. 

11pm

Finally, with the baby asleep, I get ready to do the same. Just before bed I check on the baby (still asleep), and check the baby monitor to make sure it's working. 

12am

Tucked up in bed and after reading a few pages of my book I am ready to sleep. Check on the monitor one more time, and make sure the volume is sky high. 

1am

Monitor goes off but no sound is coming from it. I stare at it for what it seems to be an eternity and eventually a noise... A fart that made the house tremble because of how high the monitor's volume was. Clearly the baby is not that bother about it so after changing the volume to a more suitable setting I go back to sleep. 

Hold on a minute, what if that fart came out with something else? Surely, I cannot leave the baby with a dirty nappy all night, or can I? I force myself out of bed to check on the baby. Nothing came out so I go back to bed. 

2am

The monitor hasn't gone off for an hour?! Might be I screwed up the volume before! What if the baby was crying and I didn't hear it?! I might have emotionally damaged my kid for life! Quickly get out of bed to check on him. Incredibly, he is still sleeping like a log. 

3am

Monitor goes off with a very strange beeping. Oh no, the temperature of the room has dropped to 19 degrees and the monitor is letting us know. In fact, it's letting the whole neighborhood know. Quickly, get out of bed to check on the baby. He is not bother at all about the temperature, in fact, he seems pretty content. 

Anyhow, I turn the heating on so the damn monitor stops beeping.

Read: 5 people who will test your parenting skills

4am

Monitor goes off and this time is for real, the baby is crying. Quickly rush into his bedroom, only to find out that he is just dreaming, the crying is actually a very creepy laugh and he is still sleeping like a log. 

But hang on... something smells... Baby has a dirty nappy, so since I am up let's change him. There is no way I can do this without waking him up, so after changing him I spend a ridiculous amount of time making him understand it is still not play time. 

5am

Back in bed and ready to catch up on my sleep. 

6am

Monitor goes off, again, to let us know the temperature in the room is now to high. Of course, I forgot to turn the heating off. At this point I have no energy to get out of bed, so I kick husband out of bed instead.  

7am

Monitor goes off one last time, baby is crying. Husband shows at the door apologizing, because on his way out to work stopped by baby's room to check up on him and woke him up.  He couldn't explain how, and I didn't really care. Only thing that matters is that we have survived the first night of the baby sleeping in his own room... Or that is what he thinks. Me, on the other hand, wish I was the one going to work! 

Note to self: ask husband to oil the baby's room door. From all the checking up at night it is now creaking...

7 Positives Of Having A Baby

Despite of having a cynical view about motherhood, I decided to start the blog on a positive note – and I actually found seven!

1. You can spend the day on your pyjamas

2. Having a glass of wine every day of the week is mandatory to survive

3. You don’t need a dietitian – the baby keeps you so busy that you barely have time to eat

4. He is the best contraceptive – after a 36hs labour, don’t even think about it! EVER!

5. Out of the blue you have the most amazing cleavage

6. Because of the new amazing rack, you have a perfect excuse to go shopping and renew your wardrobe

7. He is the best listener and knows exactly what to say – you can complain to him about how hard all this is and he will reply with the most beautiful toothless smiles

Read: 4 hospital bag must haves